Bring Me To Life
by fidofia
Summary: While the Doctor explores, the TARDIS laments, as to how she came to live a life of nothing. Songfic for the Evanescence song 'Bring me to life'. I don't own Doctor Who or the song.


The TARDIS stood, lonely on a foreign planet whilst the doctor explored the beautiful landscapes.

The TARDIS didn't think the doctor truly understood how sentient she really was, even after she'd been alive. He didn't understand the feelings she had for him and how much she missed him in those times between travel.

She had wanted to see the universe so she stole a timelord and ran away, but the timelord who was mad enough, didn't know that when he snapped his fingers, it was all her doing that. Opening her doors like outstretched arms, ready to embrace the two-hearted humanoid in his travels through time and space.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?_

If eyes were windows to the human soul, then her TARDIS doors were the doors to hers.

_Leading you deep into my core, where I've become so numb,_

_Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold._

Before she had come to life in the body of Idris, there was no need for her to be awake when The Doctor wasn't travelling in her, so she simply went to sleep for a long time when he wasn't there. Falling asleep wasn't peaceful, it was filled with memories of the past, present and future. It was so cold.

_Until you find it there and lead it back home,_

_Wake me up inside, Wake me up inside,_

But once she had experienced the gift of true life, she never wanted to go back to the dark world of unconsciousness that she had come from.

_Call my name and save me from the dark,_

The doctor, he still called her sexy. In fact, more often now than before. It made her happy and very sad all at the same time. Ripped between two emotions that normal inanimate machines shouldn't have.

_Bid my blood to run, before I come undone,_

If something happened to the Doctor, that extraordinary man, she would die. Cease to exist forever.

He'd almost just let her die. Gave her a death sentence so he could sent his companion, Rose Tyler, back to her home. It broke both of their hearts.

_Save me from the nothing I've become,_

The TARDIS knew she still shouldn't take it personally, but it really hurt. Would he give up his eternal life companion, The TARDIS up for the sake of a replaceable human? She knew she was being selfish and that The Doctor had loved that girl. And that was all she needed to obey his command and take her home. He had made her feel like she was worth nothing.

_Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me,_

Having that life in her was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She could run and speak, kiss and bite and tell the Doctor everything she had ever wanted to say. But it felt worse now that it was all over. Painful even.

_Breathe into me and make me real, Bring me to life_

On that same terrible day that the Doctor had left her for dead, Rose Tyler hadn't given up, and managed to get herself connected to the Time Vortex, connected to The TARDIS. In that moment, she and Rose Tyler had become one and the same. That was the first time she had truly been alive.

The TARDIS was the one who had written Bad Wolf through history. She had been the one to reanimate Captain Jack. She had been the one who had kissed the Doctor. It had all been her. No wonder Rose couldn't remember it.

_Wake me up inside, Wake me up inside_

The TARDIS thought dormantly and silently until she thought of something she hadn't before.

If someone else connected themselves to the Vortex, to her mainframe, she could be alive again. A unknowing companion maybe.

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

But the Doctor wouldn't want her in a body of his companion, someone he loved. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes, he wouldn't even be utter her name.

_Bid my blood to run, before I come undone,_

She could stay in the body for a bit couldn't she? What she wanted to feel more than anything else was the warmth, the blood through her veins and the gasps of air, powering her human body. It was worth one minuscule, little, insignificant death. It would kill the companion and if the Doctor absorbed the energy, which she was sure he would, it would kill him for sure. He could regenerate, but he would never forgive her for her selfishness.

_Save me from the nothing I've become,_

Why couldn't the Doctor help her? Help her become a person, become something more than a machine. All she'd ever done was help and love him and what did she get? Pain and suffering for centuries.

_Bring me to life,_

She also knew, at the back of her consciousness that he loved her too and couldn't help her. If she stole the body and life of one of his companions, he'd be heartbroken. The TARDIS didn't think she could possibly take the life of an innocent human that the Doctor loved, she couldn't break his heart.

_Bring me to life,_

No, her job was to be the TARDIS. While all companions would have to leave at some point and it would hurt the Doctor, she knew that it was her job to be the Doctor's everlasting partner in time and space, then, now and forever. Her love would not die.

* * *

The TARDIS stood on a foreign planet, just where the Doctor had left her. After that exciting adventure, he couldn't wait to get going to the next adventure in the TARDIS. His TARDIS, his travelling home and the only place he could be himself.

He snapped his fingers and the doors creaked open. He stroked the side gently before he walked through.

"Well, I suppose it's just you and me, Sexy," He murmured.

The lights on the TARDIS flashed, and all too soon, they were both gone, off to more adventures in the universe.

_Bring me to life..._


End file.
